The Righteous Daughter: Learning to Wait

In every household, there comes a time when your female arrows will be old enough to begin a courtship process. Technically, this process can start when the daughter in question is about 27. However, since your help-meet will still be bearing you more arrows by the time your first daughters are "of age," it is generally too convenient with them at home helping with the younger arrows and serving their Patriarch. Therefore, feel free to hold off on the courtship process for as long as desired. Remember: marriage is always the goal, but God never mandated a specific amount of time in which to reach that goal. Good things come to those who serve their fathers.

Of course, your daughter will begin to wonder why her chief end--to get married and fill her husband's quiver--is so long in coming. Remind her constantly that everything happens according to God's timing, and that you alone will be made aware when God's time for her has come. She needn't worry about it. When she is to be married, you will let her know. However, at about age 30, your daughter will begin a quiet rebellion in the form of casting lingering looks at young men. This must not be allowed to continue. We cannot stress enough that in God's grand order for our lives, romantic feelings come only after marriage. You must work hard to ensure that your daughter suppresses all feelings of "love" until after her wedding.

Another obstacle you will run into is that young men may have their fathers contact you on their behalf about starting a courtship with your daughter. In this case, you can satisfy the young man without sacrificing the comfort of having your daughter live at home. Be honest with the young man: you will pray about it. And, friends, prayer can take a long, long time.

However, you must be careful! The last thing we want is to be seen as "normal." Worldly women wait an obscenely long time before getting married (if they even get married at all). You must not be seen as this! Take extra measures to make sure the "world" knows that your daughter is waiting out of obedience and deference, not self-righteous "independence." Keep her indoors as much as possible, so no one will see that she is not married. If she must go out-of-doors, make sure she wears many layers--i.e., routine turtleneck w/ floor-length denim jumper combo, stockings, keds, shawl, sweater tied around the waist (but not too tight!), hairnet, bonnet--so that she will not attract attention to herself. To be safe, when going out, put her mother's wedding ring on her left hand. The reason for this is twofold: one, people will assume she is married, and two, it symbolizes that she is married to her father until he passes that responsibility over to her future husband.

As always, we hope this helps you in your continuing righteous quest to be more like us and our Godly ways.

In the service of the Lord,
Quivers of Men